The People Pleaser

Relationships are a pretty big deal to God.  He created us to be in relationship with one another and especially to be in relationship with Himself.  It makes sense that in addition to trying to destroy us, Satan would go for the jugular regarding our relationships.  He’s constantly trying to stir up strife, to kill, or even to steal our joy in relationships.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel like you are walking on eggshells?  Perhaps you are afraid of offending the person, making them mad, or are just plain afraid of loosing something.  You start thinking things like, if only I were a better friend/employee/spouse.  This thinking says, if I just work harder, do or say such and such, that person will be happy.  If you continue in this way, before you know it (and you probably won’t know it), you become underhanded, manipulative and controlling.  Pride creeps in and you begin to believe you can change the emotions and behavior of the other person through your words or actions.

This spirit is straight from hell.  There is no fear in love.  There is no place for fear in relationship.  In fact, if we allow fear to control what we do and say, we invite those very things into our life!  We inadvertently sow seeds, nurture, and grow fruit of unrighteousness.  Nobody likes to be controlled or manipulated.  The relationship becomes more and more unhealthy, creating more of the very behavior we are trying to avoid!

Satan is like the white elephant in the room.  Because we are spiritual beings, we can feel his presence, we can sense his influence, but no one wants to admit he is there.  It’s only when we quit bowing to the spirit of this world, quit being afraid of people, and start obeying God that Satan HAS to flee!  Some of us are so busy trying to please people, we forget the only true way to please people is through God’s Spirit.  You see, when we obey Father, the whole atmosphere around us changes.  God is able to inhabit us and transform our life.  This affects everyone around us.  The environment becomes right for seeds of righteousness to flourish!

So what does it mean to obey Father?  Does this mean we dig around the Bible and follow certain regulations, lists, and rules?  You know what I mean: read your Bible, pray every day, tithe 10%, don’t have sex outside of marriage, don’t lie, etc. . . This is a great place to start, but don’t stop there!  The Bible is a very good place to get to know God and the Spirit behind His Word.  Again, we are spiritual beings designed to be in relationship with God’s Spirit.  He heals what sin has done to us, and the enmity between us is destroyed.  The law and it’s condemnation looses it’s power over us.  Come out from under the Old Covenant and live in the freedom of the New!  As we continue to turn our heart toward His, we become more and more sensitive to Him.  We sense His leading and begin to follow Him, naturally and habitually.  This type of relationship takes time, patience, focus and discipline.  We say what He says and do what He does in all situations, simply because we know who He is and who we are in Him.  

This doesn’t mean God will “fix” our relationships or that they will be perfect.  In fact, sometimes He breaks certain ones (Matt 10:34-37).  Perhaps we need to come into agreement.  Not everyone will like us and not all relationships are intended by Father.  We may never know all that God has saved us from.  He is a good Father and we can trust His good and perfect will.