I Am That Friend

I believe God has put a beautiful, innate desire in all of us to be known, understood, and loved; to move through life with a companion. In His love He gives us wonderful earthly solutions for our comfort and enjoyment, however, He has made us especially to do life with Himself! Just like in the garden, God intends for us to walk with him. He wants to be with us, to help us, and to be our friend. He has always desired this kind of relationship with His creation, and He has given us His Spirit in order to accomplish this.

So often, may I even dare say usually, we believe people are the solution to this innate need. We look for a friend or spouse or some other relationship to be our everything. While these people can be a great source of temporary happiness and comfort, it doesn't take long for the newly married wife or husband to realize fulfillment isn't found in marriage.  All it takes is the disappointment and heartbreak of one broken friendship to cause us to realize friends aren't the ultimate answer to this desire either.  

For me it was my friendships.  I have a great appreciation for friends and seek deep, meaningful relationships.  I was also carrying loneliness at that time, which caused me to have an inexplicable desire for a full-time buddy.  I quickly understood I could not expect my husband to fill this role, so I set my sights on the mythological idea of a best friend that our culture pushes.  As I searched for this person, God gently warned me not to seek idols, that what I was looking for was Him.  My response was, "Yeah, I know, I know.  But I need someone here, this is essential to my happiness."

So He let me go.  In His love for me he allowed me to pursue a friendship with a woman that I thought was my everything.  We talked daily and our children became good friends.  For two years I enjoyed her friendship and enjoyed hanging out with her friends while our children played.  Life was perfect.  Almost.  The relationship was riddled with fear of loss and was hard work to maintain.  I became confused about my priorities.  I was allowing her to control me, acting to please her instead of God.  I had troubles speaking the truth because I was afraid she would be offended.  I did all I could to ensure the relationship was unharmed, which actually caused it to become increasingly unhealthy.

Then it happened.  God was calling me into closer relationship with Him and I could no longer ignore Him.  He called me to speak the truth in love to her; I couldn't remain silent any longer.  I wasn't being honest with her about who I am.  I lovingly shared my heart.  To my utter disbelief, she hardened her heart and decided we could no longer be friends.  The rejection was crushing.

She was true to her word and did her best to push me out of her life.  She forbade our children from playing, and made it impossible for my daughter to continue to be a part of her group of friends.

In my pain I ran to God.  He embraced me and allowed the hard times to purify me.  He washed my thoughts with His own, replacing the lies I was believing about myself with the truth.  I learned what He meant when He said, "I am that friend you are looking for."  You see, His Spirit is with us all the time.  He's speaking to us regularly, but sometimes the idols in our life cause His voice to be distorted, or even unrecognizable.  My desire for a full-time buddy is fulfilled by Him, it doesn't get any better than Him!  He wants to laugh with us, have a good time, and love us like no one on earth can love us.  He desires to council us through our hard times and to give us insight and wisdom.  He wants to help us in our everyday life.  He wants to work with us.  The key is to put down our agenda and our idols, and listen.  If we obey His voice, our lives will rise above our earthly condition- this existence that is riddled with the consequence of sin.  Jesus took sin, and saved us from it's burden.  Jesus tore down the veil between heaven and earth.  Our lives can be the recipient and the conduit for God's Kingdom here and now.  

Is there a relationship that deeply disappoints you? Is there someone that isn't meeting your expectations? Perhaps a friend, a husband, a sister or daughter? Perhaps this is where God wants to break through to you. Perhaps this is the launch pad through which God wants to reveal Himself. Let God speak to you about His desire for relationship in your life.