Show Me Your Glory!

Several years ago I started asking God to show me His glory. I figured if Moses did it, so could I! I don’t think I understood what I was asking. I thought I was asking for a vision, a picture or dream of His Presence. I thought I was praying for an experience which would sharpen my sense of His spiritual presence; a sort of spiritual tuning if you will. But glory is so much more. God’s glory is heavenly reality breaking into the reality of our world. It is the manifestation of His power so that all men can see and know I AM.

Never would I have guessed what God had in mind for our family. We were living on 14 wooded acres at the time. There was nothing to be seen but trees upon trees, and perhaps an occasional black Angus cow at the farm next door. One summer afternoon I picked the children up from camp and brought them and a friend home. I sent the kids outside as I prepared dinner.  Suddenly, our oldest boy came to me in hysterics. He tended to be a bit dramatic, so I quickly tried to defuse the situation. I calmly asked him what was wrong and steadily went for my shoes.

“No! You must hurry!” he yelled. “A tree fell on Holly!”

Trying not to panic, I found my boots and started out to the back woods. As I began the trek down the path, I could see our son’s friend guiding Holly toward the house. I broke into a run. Her nose was clearly broken as a large, dark bubble was forming on the side. I braced her feeble body and she weakly said, “Mom, it hurts so bad.” You know it’s bad when a child doesn't have the energy to cry.

I got her back to the house and laid her on the floor. The boys raced to find her a pillow and did all they could to comfort her. I called my husband and informed him Holly was badly injured. I thought I would go to our county hospital to get her nose x-rayed. The boys and I gingerly laid Holly on the floor of our minivan, complete with blankets and pillows. I remember feeling concerned about the blood choking her and giving her some ibuprofen for pain.

I called my son’s friend’s mom and told her a small tree had fallen on Holly’s head, just nine years old at the time. The tree was partially broken so Holly was swinging on it like a bar. When she swung, the trunk broke loose and fell on her face. My son and his friend, both age eleven, rushed to either side and lifted the tree enough for her to scoot out from under. Thankfully she lost consciousness only for a moment. I let the friend’s mom know her son was waiting at our house with my boys. Later she said my voice was monotone, like a robot. There was no emotion, no inflection in my words. Just information.

Twenty-five minutes later we arrived at the emergency room. I went to the back of the van to get Holly and to my horror her whole face was swelling and her eyes were filling with blood. I braced her little body once more and we walked through the doors. The moment seemed to last forever as the receptionist looked at Holly and I looked at the receptionist. I was speechless. Finally I mumbled, “A tree fell on her head,” and realized we were at the wrong place. Our county hospital was not set up for severe trauma.

Life seemed to be moving in slow motion as the nurses grabbed a wheelchair and wheeled Holly back to a room. I rested a moment against the wall outside and just breathed. It was a whirlwind as nurses rushed around, not exactly sure how to handle the situation. Unexpectedly, one snapped a picture on her phone and whipped it around to show Holly.  Wait, why was that necessary?

All at once, the swirl of activity left the room. Alone together, Holly looked at me and asked, “How is this all going to heal?” Without skipping a beat I looked my little girl straight in the eyes and said, “Perfectly.”

The doctor came in and announced they would be taking Holly for a CT scan. More rushing and Holly was gone. “Oh my God!” I realized, “Her brain could be bleeding!” I heard God’s calming voice say, “Her brain is fine, but she will go to Cincinnati for surgery.”

I don’t remember much of what the doctor said except that his words were strangely a relief. I could hear that Holly was going to be alright. They prepped her for an IV filled with morphine and we were to be transported by ambulance to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. Getting the IV inserted was difficult and the trip by ambulance simply dreadful during rush hour. But the moment we hit the doors in Cincinnati we were in excellent hands. One by one, the medical specialists all came to say Holly would be fine. There had to have been five or six of them. One by one, they all cleared Holly to leave the hospital. Again, this told me Holly was going to be okay.

By this time Holly didn’t even look human. Have you ever seen pictures of people after plastic surgery, their face so grossly swollen and bandaged that you can’t recognize them? This was our Holly. And this is what my husband walked in to see.

“Aww. . .” He said tenderly as he entered the room. Thankfully she was sleeping since not a soul could control their emotion when they walked in and saw her condition.

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Walk on Water

**This is the second post in the series, Holly's Healing. To start from the beginning, click here.  

Oddly enough, we were relieved Holly could be released from the hospital. Trauma is like a thick veil of emotion, you can’t see your foot right in front of you. You are like a child, not able to fully process your circumstance or see your next step. It was somewhere around three in the morning when there was controversy about whether Holly could be released. Finally around four a.m. we were lead to our room. Holly was to be admitted for observation.

Longing for it all to be over, we were disappointed. But as I watched the next forty-eight hours unfold, I believe it was God’s protection and assurance which allowed us to remain under the skilled care of medical professionals. In these circumstances, plastic surgeons must wait for the swelling to decrease before repairing the damage. Many of Holly’s facial bones had been crushed. A combination of swelling with sharp bone fragments introduced the risk of piercing the brain fluid, which could lead to a dangerous infection.

Holly slept the entire day after the accident. As humans, we get so consumed by what we see on the outside, I wasn’t able to fully understand what was happening on the inside. I was unable to discern that she slept because she had a traumatic brain injury. During my down time at the hospital I called a friend and prayer partner and sobbed. All I could say was, “Holly will be fine,” until I could compose myself to tell her what happened. After the conversation and prayer, I returned to Holly’s room. As I sat quietly in the darkened room, a rush of supernatural peace washed over me. Something was happening. I checked my Facebook page and my friend had posted an urgent prayer request that was rapidly being shared all over the nation! I can only imagine how many people were praying. Later I found out whole church groups had been praying! Ministering angels had come to relieve my distress.

The second night Casey stayed at the hospital and I went to his parents’ house where our boys were staying.  I spent a few moments with each as I put them to bed. Our oldest, DJ, said he had read my texts from the day. I was grieved because I had sent information to his grandparents about Holly’s status. I was afraid it would have scared him.

“Mom,” he said as he looked at me intently, “Holly could have died.”

“This is true,” I responded.

I watched his face and I could see this news did not scare him or even make him sad.  What I saw in my son’s face was thanksgiving and peace. He knew Holly could have died, but He knew God saved her and that she was going to be okay. He went to bed encouraged. I wanted to go to bed encouraged! I saw DJ’s faith and it inspired me. That night while sleep eluded me, I cried out to God. I could see the disciples in the boat while the storm raged. I could see the panic as they woke Jesus from his sleep and wanted him to calm the storm.

“My child,” God said to me, “you humans want me to calm the storm, but I want you to walk on water.” I could see Peter getting out of the boat and making his first steps toward Jesus.

“Father,” I bowed my head in submission, “I want to walk on water. Please show me how.”

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Extraordinary Reality

**This is the third post in the series, Holly's Healing. To start from the beginning, click here.**

Holly’s road to healing was a long and winding road. Her care at the hospital shifted dramatically as each expert came and gave their perspective. At one point the Lord spoke the word, “jibe.” I could remember from lessons as a child that jibing is a sailing technique in which a "zig-zag" pattern is used to sail downwind. Many sailboats are significantly faster using this technique, and it can be safer than running straight downwind. Although the path may seem longer from the vessel’s perspective, the increased speed more than makes up for the extra distance. Armed with this insight, my husband Casey and I were prepared to trust God’s care through the team of doctors at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. The Lord was teaching me to relax and watch Him direct Holly’s healing.

This insight helped us trust God the day of her plastic surgery. We had previously met with one surgeon who explained what she would be doing to reconstruct Holly’s nose and insert plates to hold the external bones of her face together. A few days after that consultation, we received a call informing us the surgery had been moved to the main hospital campus and a different surgeon would be doing the work. I believed this was by God’s hand. What we didn’t expect was a completely different approach. There was no time to question in the moments leading up to surgery; we were in God’s hands and had already decided to trust the surgeon God had chosen to do the work.

Walking through trauma into healing with Holly allowed me to see childlike faith in action. I watched and was encouraged as Holly released that which we as adults tend to hold on to and carry like a burden. I witnessed how she passed through pain, passed through fear and many other emotions, letting go of all things temporal like her appearance. When we brought her home from the hospital, our youngest son couldn’t even look at her. Jesus calmed my emotions by allowing me to see she wasn’t staying in those dark places, but walking through to freedom on the other side. In those moments of faith I could see her healing would be complete.

Sure enough, the outside healing was perfect. We had an exceptional surgeon who did amazing work. Six weeks after the accident I held a picture up to Holly and confirmed, aside from residual bruising, she looked exactly the same! This is stunning when you know she was unrecognizable after the accident. Two years later, her first x-ray was taken for orthodontic purposes. The orthodontist confirmed, the plastic surgeon did a phenomenal job. Today, there is no external trace a tree ever fell on her head!

Using ordinary doctors and hospitals, God caused us to walk in an extraordinary way. With tangible hope, hope that we could actually grasp and put into action, we were able to navigate a life-threatening situation with relative ease. When fear crept in, when Satan filled my mind with “what-ifs,” I was able to recall God’s personal Word and affirm my trust in Him. More than once I was tempted to worry and use the circumstances to support my fears. However, God had spoken directly to the situation, and His Word settled the issue. I chose to believe Him in those moments of fear. 

Through trust and obedience, the Lord taught me what it means for a Christian to “walk on water.” While our circumstances may be subject to the fallen nature of the world, God empowers His children to walk above the common pitfalls and valleys of the natural man. A child who experiences severe trauma or loss often carries emotional baggage for the rest of their life. The stress of the experience can even cause developmental challenges or delays. Because of this, many parents fear for their children which drives them to control their child’s life in attempt to avoid pain and suffering. But 365 times the phrase, "Do not be afraid," is written in the Bible. The extraordinary reality is that God’s children are enabled to walk through trauma without being traumatized.

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Glory Revealed

**This is the final post in the series, Holly's Healing. To start from the beginning, click here.**

I have to admit, it was hard to believe Holly’s brain was fine in those first few months after the accident. It was tempting to run ahead of God and take control of the situation. The truth is her bones were eggshells to the base of the brain and her brain was badly bruised. The plastic surgeons pieced together the outside bones, but there is nothing they could do on the inside. The neuroscience team warned us Holly may struggle in school. Sure enough, we saw clear signs of brain injury, even more than a month after the accident. I clung to God’s promise: Her brain is fine. We waited it out. You see, God speaks from a timeless position. When He speaks, it is eternal truth. From His perspective Holly was healed, our temporal condition will pass away. I chose to believe Him even when the circumstances seemed to suggest otherwise.

During conferences the following school year we met with Holly’s math teacher and she mentioned her desire to accelerate Holly. Quite frankly, we laughed it off. Holly has always been a good, disciplined student, but we knew math just wasn’t her language. In the past she complained about math being too hard and believed she wasn’t good at it. I began to take notice math was coming more naturally and I even mentioned it to her. She confirmed it was easy “all of a sudden.”

That year we received a letter in the mail explaining that according to Holly’s testing, the state of Ohio has identified her as gifted in math. This is incredible! I have witnessed firsthand the differences between gifted and good students. Gifted students are just that, gifted. It’s not something they work at or can achieve, it just is. The positive differences in school didn’t stop there. Before the accident Holly had lagged in reading comprehension, making reading a chore she didn’t enjoyed. She had reading goals at school and frequently did not reach them before the accident. She soared above her goals that following year.  I believe her comprehension had been enriched.

Very commonly as human beings we want to know why God allows pain and suffering, especially in the case of children. When we align our thoughts with His thoughts, we see for ourselves that God is good. God’s heart is love, salvation, redemption and resurrection. Because His focus is eternal, He allows suffering even to the point of death on a cross. He is interested in building trust, encouraging faith and guiding into spiritual freedom. In His love for us, He does and allows whatever is necessary to be with us now and forever.

I remember the day our family doctor examined Holly’s CT scan, quietly closed his laptop and solemnly remarked, “She’s a lucky girl.” A neighbor commented she’s too lucky. When describing the accident to a friend, she said she could “see” God’s hand covering Holly’s face, protecting her precious organs inside. It doesn’t take a spiritual person to recognize divine intervention in Holly’s behalf. All men can see God’s glory manifested through the miracle of Holly’s salvation on earth. Indeed, God has shown me His glory.