Spiritual Training

*This is the second post in a series called Journey to Joy. To start from the beginning click here.

For ten years I prayed the Lord would take away the anxiety and for ten years I chose to believe He was allowing my condition to continue in order to train me. Interestingly enough, like so many of the Biblical characters, God had led our family into a physical wilderness. We moved to a house on fourteen wooded acres. The house was located a half mile off the main road and we were completely separated from other houses by trees. God had set us apart and was sanctifying us for His use.

 

Anyone who struggles with difficulties such as anxiety, depression, or any other emotional disturbance, readily admits there is a physical component to the struggle. I asked my doctor and he suggested medication, but I was nursing my son and didn’t want to go down that road. I knew I could also address the issue through vigorous exercise. I had always wanted to run a marathon, so I took the opportunity to train.

Admittedly, I was a bit obsessed. Training for a marathon is intense, and I used my anxiety to focus and discipline me. The demand of running also caused me to become more aware of the food I ate, what I drank, how much I drank, and my sleep routine. It was an all-inclusive plan. God was teaching me how to take care of my body, His temple. The running was bringing me to a place where my mind was settled and He could influence my thoughts.

Before moving to the property, I had always lived in the suburbs. I was constantly immersed in people’s ideas about how I should and should not live my life. Some of these influences were of God and some were of the spirit of the world. As a young Christian, I had little discernment to know which voices were from God. Suddenly, all the influences stopped, and I was left alone in the woods with nothing but my thoughts and God. He began to train my brain.

At the time, I was reading “The Message” version of the Bible. I found I could identify with the language used. It flowed more like a story and I began to recognize my own story through the words written on the page. God taught me that if I could worry, I could meditate on His Word. He replaced my fleshly thoughts with things from above (Col. 3:12). He taught me to recognize when my thoughts were becoming toxic, when they were a burden to my soul, and to change my mind to what was right (Phil. 4:8). Through the Bible, He taught me what His thoughts are, and I began to see through a new lens. I would struggle through my own thoughts until I found the truth. In this way, I could throw out the lies polluting my mind. I was new to spiritual discernment, so it took considerable quiet time with the Lord. But the freedom from oppressive lies was such a relief, I was drawn to God’s presence.

As a result of accepting God’s thoughts and believing Him, thanksgiving rose from my inner parts. This type of response to God’s personal Word is seen all throughout the Bible. David would express deep worship and praise through the Psalms, writing clear expressions of thanksgiving during some of the most difficult trials of his life. Mary exploded in a magnificent song of worship in Luke 1:46-55. The Lord puts His joy in His servants, and puts a new song in their mouth. I began to feel how good God is. Joy bubbled up like a fountain within.

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