Christmas Confession

I stink at Christmas. I know it sounds so strange, but the struggle is real! I don’t mean to say I struggle with the Christmas spirit, the Lord has filled me with plenty of generosity, love, and goodwill to share. However, all that our culture says Christmas should be seems to be my weakness; I simply don’t measure up! For some reason, this year I have had to focus a little harder on what the Lord is saying to me about Christmas, so I thought I’d share my thoughts with you!

Like I mentioned, I believe the Lord is remaking my heart into a generous one, but generosity doesn’t always look the same in everyone. I look around at the people who are really good at giving gifts, the ones who would give the shirt off their back, and I think, “Lord, why didn’t you make me like that?” The truth is, receiving gifts is not my love language, so to focus a whole season on something that doesn’t matter to me is a true discipline. Often, I simply feel like a failure.

When I lift my eyes to Jesus for help, He tells me, “Look for those who compliment you.” My husband is a very thoughtful gift giver and does so well. Over the years, he has learned to support me in my deficiency and I’m so grateful for his help. My daughter is old enough to come along side me, and not only is she good at giving gifts, but she loves to shop! Perfect! It has become quality time for me, something that IS my love language!

Then there is the tradition part of Christmas. I see how comforting tradition is and I would like to provide that for my children. But mostly I find it annoying. Anything that becomes a duty is a turn-off for me. When you add the moods of 5 different people, it’s hard to get everyone on the same page! I never want to be that disgruntled mom who trudges through with her own plans, dragging her loved ones behind. Therefore, I don’t like to push for the sake of “tradition.”

Let’s talk about talent. Here are the talents I don’t possess: decorating, crafting, baking. That’s a real bummer this time of year. One year the Lord said, “Give what you’ve been given.” I can play the piano! So I taught myself a few Christmas carols and made a tradition of inviting neighbors and loved ones over for tea and caroling. This year I decided to take a break after 10 years. (See paragraph about tradition, lol)

There’s one more thing the Lord is whispering to my heart this year. He says, “Use your words.” I may not be very good at giving gifts, but words of encouragement and appreciation flow freely from my lips. I may not have it all together with a family picture, but Christmas cards have become an opportunity for me to love on people through the written word.

It’s not easy when you look around and see all the things you aren’t doing well, but when we quiet ourselves in the Lord and focus on His thoughts, every season becomes a time of great joy and satisfaction. In the end, it's good I realize I don't measure up because it kills the spirit behind self-righteousness. It reminds me to find my strength in Jesus. Merry Christmas!! And love to all!